Untitled1chapter 2
by DaniRoss
Summary: Chapter deux of my wild fantasy


_Chapter 2_

I open my eyes to a familiar setting: my own room. The sun is barely peaking in through the curtains, but it's enough to make me squint. I feel a cold, puppy nose on the back of my neck.

"Jesus Christ. Can't you wait a few more hours?" I plead, know it's helpless talking to a Schnauzer. I stumble out of bed, and let the dog out into the backyard. I watch as he races up the hill after a squirrel. The squirrel, as always, was too quick.

Life is similar to this phenomena. You try to catch something, and it's too fast; it gets away. Yes, life _is_ like that. You want what's just out of reach.

Only in my case, he tricked me. He pulled me close, I held on tight. He pushed me away, but I never let go. He's always on my mind. The summer love affair between perfect strangers. He never called. Where did I go wrong? What did I do? How could I _let_ him go?

It was only a fling _let him go_. I flip on the lights in my room, and switch on my iPod. Shuffle. The first song: Behind The Sea. Before I can even change the song, tears spring from my eyes. I pull my iPod off the cord and throw it hard against the wall. My tears become sobs, and the morning fades into afternoon. He's never coming back.

***

Although it hurts, I still check my favorite fan site. The band was interviewed on their summer events. I click the link and begin watching. I wince at the clip of Ryan.

"What was something each of you did on your own, without the rest of the band?" asks the interviewer.

"I started wearing pajamas!" starts Brendon.

"Well, the rest of the band was there, but I got a tattoo" Spencer says with no enthusiasm.

"I learned mandolin" Jon grinned, and elbowed Ryan, who still remained silent.

"What about you, Ryan?" asks the interviewer, impatiently.

"Oh, uh, I–I fell in love." he stuttered.

The interviewer, cooed and began babbling on. I closed the video window and began weeping. I can't call him. He _has_ to call me. If he really loves me, he will call me.

If he really loves me, he will call me. Or text me. Or _something_. My phone buzzes, which makes me jump. I fumble to slide it open, and there lies an unread text message, from my best friend. "Dude! Did you see the new video on Panic's website? Ryan like starts crying!" He cried?

I open the window again. And begin where I last left off.

"So Ryan, tell us about her, is she pre–". She is cut of, by Ryan wiping away a tear. He stands, and runs away. Brendon chases after him. Jon, just bows his head, and starts mumbling.

I turn up the volume.

"...he is really depressed. He thinks she doesn't want him. He wants her so bad. But he screwed up..." he trailed of as Brendon returned.

"He's ok. Just give him a minute." Brendon says, as Ryan returns.

"Sorry." he says. His voice still sounds broken.

"No worries." says the interviewer.

"Can I make a shout-out?" he practically begs.

"Yeah. Go for it."

"Dani, if you're watching this, I'm really sorry. I feel like a total jackass. If you can forgive me, you should call me. I love you, and I swear I never meant for this to happen. I want to be with you so bad. It's the distance, honey, that makes this not work. I wish it could. I love you."

Tears stream down his face. He wipes them away with the back of his hand. And looks away from the camera. The video ends there, with Ryan's speech.

I whip out my phone and hit speed dial 2. The dial tone is replaced with "I Am The Walrus" by The Beatles. It rings for seemingly _forever_, until finally he answers.

"Hello?" his voice is groggy, as though he just woke up.

"Um, hi Ryan. It's me, Dani."

"Dani? Oh my god! You called!"

"Yeah. Hey, um, I saw that video. And I forgive you."

"Oh, thank God. I was kind of a babbling freak, wasn't I?"

"Oh, no you weren't. I found it endearing."

"Ha. Well, thanks, I guess."

"Yeah. How are you?"

"Eh. I've been better. Like the weeks I spent with you"

"Aw, Ryan, it doesn't _have_ to be like this. We can still be together."

"But the distance. We agreed it wouldn't work. Dani–"

"Ryan. I need you. I've been barely able to get out of bed, because there's no reason to, without you. I miss you, yeah, but I would rather know that when we are together, we're really together."

"Wow. I love you. If you really want this, we can definitely do it. I'm not gonna lie, though, it _will_ be tough. There will be days we go crazy because we need to see each other, but then there will be days we forget the other even exists. Can you handle it?"

"Ryan, I told you. I will do _anything_ for you. Even if it means the worst pain I'll ever be in. I'll do it."

"Then it's official. We're together."

"Good. Hey baby?"

"Yeah?"

"When can I see you?" I laugh. He laughs back.

"Well, actually Jon's mother is having a birthday party for Billy, and we'll be in Chicago for a couple days next week. So I guess then."

"Yay! Wait, who's Billy?"

"Oh. Jon's brother."

"Ok. Yeah I think I knew that. Just blanked a bit."

"Hey, listen, I have to go. We are going to write songs tomorrow, and I _need_ sleep. So can I call you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. For sure. Write well, ok?"

"Ha. Ok. I love you."

"I love you too."

***

I try to sleep, but at four in the morning, I'm still awake. I am sprawled across my bed, staring at my popcorn ceiling. My train of thought keeps jumping rails, speeding faster and faster. I get up and find my sketchbook. I grab pencils and shading stumps along the way. My pencil is soon flying across the page, uncovering a portrait of Ryan.

I scratch at his eyes with my eraser, unable to get them right. The shape is wrong, or the size. Maybe it's the intensity, or the knowledge hidden behind. What is wrong with them?

Finally, I become drowsy. I put my sketchbook on top of my stereo; I'm not giving up...yet. I flip the lights and curl up into a ball. I feel myself slipping under, into lovely dreams about Ryan.

"_Dani! Sweetie!" he pulls my hand over to a group of unfamiliar faces._

"_Where are we going?" I find myself asking._

"_This is her. This is the girl who stole my heart." he points to me. His friends crowd around me, asking me things. Overwhelmed, I fall back into Ryan's outstretched arms. He holds me closer. I reach my neck up, to kiss his flush lips. I feel his tongue slip into my mouth. _

My eyes shoot open. The sun pours in through my curtains. I check the clock, and see that it is not only two o'clock on the afternoon, but it has been three days. _Ryan is here!_

I check my phone; twelve missed calls! Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Hannah, Ryan, Ryan, Tanya, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Katie, Ryan. My inbox is halfway full with texts from assortments of people, with random news that I care _so_ much about (not), but the last message captured my attention.

"Hey Honey. Listen, im really worried about u. Call me asap. I luv u. ~Ryan"

It seemed odd. The lack of words, the lack or panicky tone, the lack of . . . _love_. Although my head was spinning, I called Ryan. I listen to the dial tone for a few minutes till someone answers. A woman's voice greets me.

"Hello?"

"Um, hi. Is Ryan there?" I hear myself ask.

"You know, he just . . . um, stepped out. I'll let him know _you_ called."

"Ok. Who are you?"

"I'm Ryan's girlfriend. Who are _you_?"

"I'm . . . Dani. Put Ryan on _now_!" I snarl.

"Jesus. Here he is. And I'm his sister. Chill." she giggles a bit, then shrieks.

"Hey babe! Sorry, Sara's such a dumbass. Where've you been?"

"Hi. Its ok. Just scared me a bit. Well, I have been in dreamland. I swear I slipped into a coma. I have no idea what happened. I was just out."

"Oh my God. Are you ok?"

"Oh yeah I'm fine." I laugh.

"Good."

"Yeah. So you wanted me to call you . . . ?"

"Oh, yeah. Well, I was wondering what you're up to this weekend. We'll be in town for a show and Billy's party, and I was wondering if you want to go to that or do something else . . . ?"

"Whatever's fine. It's up to you."

"Well, I want you to meet the rest of the band. So I guess maybe Billy's party . . .?"

"Sounds great!"

"Yeah. Ok, well I have to take my sister to ballet, so I'll talk to you later, ok?"

"Ok. Bye."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

***


End file.
